Failure is not an option

"What makes you think you have a right to lead anyone?"  A question I have heard whispered in the background.  A question I have had thrown at my Pastor and Spiritual Leaders.  Why her?  Her sin is spectacularly offensive!

There have been many moments in the past few years I have wished I was OK with failing.  Because if I were, I would shrink quietly back from the attacks, the judgments, the people who have elaborate betting pools on when it will happen.  There is a large supply of Shasta County quarters out of circulation from buying a square on that cow-pie bingo.  I have stood seemingly impervious to the whispers, the shouts, the veiled insults, the outright confrontations.  I have attempted to offer grace and patience and explanations to people who truthfully have earned none of the above.

The short answer, and quite possibly the only answer that matter is this:  I am chosen.  I am called.  I am obedient and I am standing in the center of Gods Will for my life right now.

I'm in love with God, God's in love with me.  This is who I am, and this is who I will be and that settles it. COMPLETELY.

I can't tell you how personal those words are to me.  I could offer you a story, an explanation that would chase away your concerns.  I could spend my energy making your flesh comfortable or I can simply be about the Fathers business.  I choose to work.

I overheard someone make a comment the other day, "Whats up with Barb?  I have heard some things!"

I chuckled to myself.  Whats up with Barb indeed!  You have heard some things?  Really?  That's awesome.  You must have heard about the dozens of people that have committed their lives to Christ at the Good News Rescue Mission in the last few months!  Praise God!  The homeless people who clutch tightly to the copy of our poorly recorded CD because there is a song on there that makes them FEEL.  Praise God!  The people who will always get my attention no matter how busy I am or what I NEED TO DO at right that minute when there are tears in their eyes because they made a bad choice and they are SURE God doesn't love them anymore?  Praise God someone told you that story!  You heard about my Son making the Honor Roll despite his frustrations with his new school?  Praise God because I am so proud of that boy!  You heard about my Church growing leaps and bounds and the anointing so strong that you can't stay on your feet even when you try?  Praise God for that report too!   You heard that I got mad and lost my cool because of people not taking the work of our ministry seriously and letting their indifference spill over onto the people who desperately need God?  Well Praise God for that too.  I am human.  Life happens.  I will apologize and start over tomorrow

I am nothing.  No one.  I do not exalt myself above anyone.  I am half a paycheck from being right where the people I love and serve are.   I am simply a vessel.  A broken one.  One that God saw enough value in to  mend, seal up the crack and pour into me so much grace and love that it had to flow out to others.

I am not discouraged when I come under attack.  I know I am in line for promotion.  This time of transition can be painful, but oh the joy that comes in the morning!!!